Digging For Truth : Undue familiarity (32)

Quotations from the writings of Ellen G. White with the phrase . . .

u n d u e F A M I L I A R I T Y ( 2 RELATED PHRASES )

The phrase 'undue familiarity' appears 32 times in the published writings of EGW Page Not on Original site Related Phrase: Unwarranted Familiarity ( ) - - familiarity with sin ( 22 )

There is an exalted platform for us to stand upon. We must believe and teach the truth as it is in Jesus. Holiness of heart will never lead to impure actions. When one who claims to be teaching the truth is inclined to be much in the company of young or even married women, when he familiarly lays his hand upon them, or is often conversing with them in a familiar manner, be afraid of him; the pure principles of truth are not inwrought in his soul. Such are not in Christ, and Christ is not abiding in them. They need a thorough conversion before God can accept their labors. The truth of heavenly origin never degrades the receiver, never leads him to the least approach to undue familiarity; on the contrary, it sanctifies the believer, refines his taste, elevates and ennobles him, and brings him into a close connection with Jesus. It leads him to regard the apostle Paul’s injunction to abstain from even the appearance of evil, lest his “good be evil spoken of.” { 5T 593.1} also { RH, November 10, 1885 }
This is a subject to which we must give heed. We must guard against the sins of this degenerate age. We must stand aloof from everything that savors of undue familiarity. God condemns it. It is forbidden ground, upon which it is unsafe to set the feet. Every word and action should tend to elevate, refine, and ennoble the character. There is sin in thoughtlessness about such matters. The apostle Paul exhorted Timothy to diligence and thoroughness in his ministry, and urged him to meditate upon those things that were pure and excellent, that his profiting might appear unto all. The same counsel is greatly needed by young men of the present age. Thoughtful consideration is essential. If men would only think more, and act less impulsively, they would meet with much greater success in their labors. We are handling subjects of infinite importance, and we cannot afford to weave into our work our own defects of character. We want to represent the character of Christ. { 5T 593.2}

The truth of heavenly origin never degrades the receiver, never leads him to the least approach to undue familiarity; on the contrary, it sanctifies the believer, refines his taste, elevates and ennobles him, and brings him into a close connection with Jesus. It leads him to regard the apostle Paul’s injunction to abstain from even the appearance of evil, lest his good should be evil spoken of.— Review and Herald, November 10, 1885. { 2SM 30.1}

Avoid Every Approach to Evil — When one who claims to be teaching the truth is inclined to be much in the company of young or even married women, when he familiarly lays his hand upon their person, or is often found conversing with them in a familiar manner, be afraid of him; the pure principles of truth are not wrought in his soul. Such are not workers with Jesus; they are not in Christ, and Christ is not abiding in them. They need a thorough conversion before God can accept their labors. The truth of heavenly origin never degrades the receiver, never leads him to the least approach to undue familiarity; on the contrary, it sanctifies the believer, refines his taste, elevates and ennobles him, and brings him into a close connection with Jesus. It leads him to regard the apostle Paul’s injunction to abstain from even the appearance of evil, lest his good should be evil spoken of.... { Ev 680.2}

We must as workers be united in frowning down and condemning anything that bears the least approach to evil, in our associations with one another. Our faith is holy; our work is to vindicate the honor of God’s law, and is not of a character to bring any one down to a low level in thought or in deportment. There are many who claim to believe and teach the truth who have error and fanciful ideas of their own mingled with the truth. But there is an exalted platform for us to stand upon. We must believe and teach the truth as it is in Jesus. Holiness of heart will never lead to impure actions. When one who claims to be teaching the truth is inclined to be much in the company of young or even married women, when he familiarly lays his hand upon their person, or is often found conversing with them in a familiar manner, be afraid of him; the pure principles of truth are not inwrought in his soul. Such are not workers with Jesus; they are not in Christ, and Christ is not abiding in them. They need a thorough conversion before God can accept their labors. The truth of heavenly origin never degrades the receiver, never leads him to the least approach to undue familiarity; on the contrary, it sanctifies the believer, refines his taste, elevates and ennobles him, and brings him into a close connection with Jesus. It leads him to regard the apostle Paul’s injunction to abstain from even the appearance of evil, lest his good should be evil spoken of. { RH November 10, 1885, par. 6 } Read entire article

Christ carried out in His life His own divine teachings. His zeal never led Him to become passionate. He manifested consistency without obstinacy, benevolence without weakness, tenderness and sympathy without sentimentalism. He was highly social; yet He possessed a reserved dignity that did not encourage undue familiarity. His temperance never led to bigotry or austerity. He was not conformed to this world; yet He was not indifferent to the wants of the least among men. He was awake to the needs of all.—Manuscript 132, 1902. { Ev 636.1} -- { 1MCP 184.1 } - - { ML 187.2 }

While men and women in an institution for health should be kind and courteous, while they are required to be affable and congenial toward all, they should shun even the appearance of undue familiarity. And not only should they themselves observe the strictest propriety of conduct, but by precept and example they should educate others to be modest and to shun looseness, jesting, flattery, and nonsensical speeches. { MM 145.5}

I have been urged by the Spirit of the Lord to fully warn our people in regard to the undue familiarity of married men with women, and women with men. This lovesick sentimentalism existed in the [city] mission at _____ before you were connected with it. I was shown you with others manifesting the same; whether this was in the past or the future I cannot say, for often things are presented to me long before the circumstances take place.—Letter 17, 1891. { 3SM 54.6}

This is a subject to which we must give heed. We must guard against the sins of this degenerate age. We must stand aloof from everything that savors of undue familiarity. God condemns it. It is forbidden ground, upon which it is unsafe to set the feet. Every word and action should tend to elevate, refine, and ennoble the character. There is sin in thoughtlessness about such matters. The apostle Paul exhorted Timothy to diligence and thoroughness in his ministry, and urged him to meditate upon those things that were pure and excellent, that his profiting might appear unto all. The same counsel is greatly needed by young men of the present age. Thoughtful consideration is essential. If men would only think more, and act less impulsively, they would meet with much greater success in their labors. We are handling subjects of infinite importance, and we cannot afford to weave into our work our own defects of character. We want to represent the character of Christ. { 2TT 234.2}

While engaged in his round of duties he [Moses] saw a bush, branches, foliage, and trunk, all burning, yet not consumed. He drew near to view the wonderful sight, when a voice addressed him from out of the flame. It was the voice of God. It was He who, as the angel of the covenant, had revealed Himself to the fathers in ages past. The frame of Moses quivered, he was thrilled with terror as the Lord called him by name. With trembling lips he answered, “Here am I.” He was warned not to approach his Creator with undue familiarity: “Put off thy shoes from off thy feet; for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.” “And Moses hid his face; for he was afraid to look upon God.”— Signs of the Times, February 26, 1880, par. 2 { TA 90.2}

This is a subject to which we must give heed. We must guard against the sins of this degenerate age. We must stand aloof from everything that savors of commonness and undue familiarity. God condemns it. It is forbidden ground, upon which it is unsafe to set the feet. Every word and action should tend to elevate, refine, and ennoble the character. There is sin in thoughtlessness about such matters. The apostle Paul exhorted Timothy to diligence and thoroughness in his ministry, and urged him to meditate upon those things that were pure and excellent, that his profiting might appear unto all. The same counsel is greatly needed by young men of the present age. Thoughtful consideration is essential. If men would only think more, and act less impulsively, they would meet with much greater success in their labors. We are handling subjects of infinite importance, and we cannot afford to weave into our work our own defects of character. We want to represent the character of Christ. { RH November 10, 1885, par. 12 } Read entire article

The truth in the soul will be seen in the circumspect life. Levity of conduct, undue familiarity, will not exist. If everyone who claims to be a child of God would cherish the spirit of kindness and love, without base thoughts and undue attention, and devote his God-given powers to spreading the truth, in seeking to save souls, what a bright, steady light would shine forth to the world! { TDG 207.2}

The Result of Undue Familiarity — There is an animal that strikes the arm with feebleness the moment it touches it. The muscles become as if paralyzed. In a similar way will it be with you spiritually, if your thoughts are allowed to run in a certain channel, and you give attention and preferences to young girls or married women. All this familiarity is death to spirituality. { TSB 162.2}

In the inspired history of this event, the one who wrestled with Jacob is called a man; Hosea calls him the angel; while Jacob said, “I have seen God face to face.” He is also said to have had power with God. It was the Majesty of Heaven, the Angel of the covenant, that came, in the form and appearance of a man, to Jacob. The divine messenger uses some force to release himself from the grasp of Jacob; he pleads with him, “Let me go, for the day breaketh.” But Jacob had been pleading the promises of God; he had been trusting his pledged word, which is as sure and unfailing as his throne; and now, through humiliation, repentance, and self-surrender, this sinful, erring mortal, can make terms with Jesus Christ: “I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.” What boldness is here manifested! What lofty faith, what perseverance and holy trust! Was this presumption and undue familiarity on the part of Jacob? Had it been of this character he would not have lived through the scene. His was not a self-exalted, boastful, presumptuous claim, but the assurance of one who realizes his weakness and unworthiness and the ability of God to fulfill his promise. The mistake which had led to Jacob’s sin in obtaining the birthright by fraud was now opened before him. He had not trusted God and his promises as he should have done. He had sought by his own works and power to bring about that which God was abundantly able to perform in his own time and way. { ST November 20, 1879, par. 7 }

Holiness of heart will never lead to impure actions. When one who claims to be teaching the truth is inclined to be much in the company of young women or even of married women; when he familiarly lays his hand upon their shoulders, or is often found conversing with them in a familiar manner, be afraid of him. The pure principles of truth are not in wrought in the soul. Such are not workers with Jesus; they are not in Christ, and Christ is not abiding in them. They need a thorough conversion before God can accept their labors. The truth of heavenly origin never degrades the receiver, never leads him to the least approach to undue familiarity. On the contrary, it sanctifies the receiver, refines the taste, elevates and ennobles him, and brings him in close connection with Jesus. It does not lead him to disregard the Apostle Paul’s injunction, to abstain from even the appearance of evil, lest his good should be evil spoken of. We have a great work to do to elevate man and to win him to Christ, to lead him to choose and to seek earnestly to be a partaker of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. Every thought, every word, and every action of the workers should be of that elevated character that is in harmony with the sacred truth they advocate. We are living in an age where iniquity abounds, and an unguarded word or an improper action may greatly injure the usefulness of the one showed this weakness. Keep up the barriers of reserve. Let not one instance occur in your relation to others that the enemy may make capital of. If you begin to place your affections upon one another, giving special attention to favorites, using flattering words, God will withdraw his Spirit. If married men leave their wives to care for their children at home, the wife and mother is doing fully as great and important a work as the husband and father. Although one is in the missionary field, the other is a home missionary, whose cares and anxieties and burdens frequently far exceed those of the husband and father. Her work is a solemn and important one. It is to mould the minds and fashion the characters of her children, and train them for usefulness here, and fit them for the future, immortal life. The husband in the open missionary field may receive the honors of men, while the home toiler may receive no credit for her labor. But if she works for the best interest of her family, to fashion their characters after the divine model, the recording angel writes her name as one of the greatest missionaries in the world. God does not see things as man’s finite vision views them. { ST October 15, 1885, par. 3 } similar to { RH November 10, 1885, par. 6 }

Christ carried out in His life His own divine teachings. He was absorbed in the work He came to perform; His devotion to the work of saving the lost was manifest on all occasions. While He rebuked sin with severity, He ever showed tender love for the sinner. In Him were blended the wisdom of the serpent and the harmlessness of the dove. His zeal never led Him to become passionate. He manifested consistency without obstinacy, benevolence without weakness, tenderness and sympathy without sentimentalism. He was highly social, yet He possessed a reserved dignity that did not encourage undue familiarity. His temperance never led to bigotry or austerity. He was not conformed to this world, yet He was not indifferent to the wants of the least among men. { ST September 23, 1908, par. 7 }

Those who labor at the institute are there for the purpose of promoting the intellectual welfare of those under their care. They must make their work a matter of earnest prayer and study, that they may know how to accomplish the object before them. Their first work is to carefully scrutinize their own habits, as they must meet the Bible standard of Christianity. Then when they are compelled to deal with those who are nearly ruined, either because of their own vicious habits or because of the intemperance or lasciviousness of men, they will know what words to speak to them, what attitude to assume toward them. They must be chaste and so free from the trait of defilement that they can correct these evils and bring the poor souls up to the Bible standard of purity. The only safety for men and women, married or unmarried, is to shun love-sick sentimentalism, and all undue familiarity. These things have produced great evil in the world. { SpTB16 4.1 }

Many have been cultivating habits which lead directly to earthly, sensual actions; and unless the power of God breaks the snare, souls will be lost in consequence. God has claims upon you that you do not realize; for you have not brought Christ into your life, and great decision of character will now be necessary on your part to change this order of things. No weak efforts will accomplish this work. You can not do it yourselves; you must have the grace of Christ or you can never overcome. All your plans will prove a failure unless you are actuated by higher motives, and upheld by greater strength than you can have of yourselves. “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you.” There will be no taste for trifling conversation on the part of those who are looking to Jesus for strength, depending upon His righteousness for salvation. By faith they accept Jesus as their personal Saviour, and become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. While men and women in an institution for health should be kind and courteous, while they are required to be affable and congenial to all, they should shun even the appearance of undue familiarity. And not only should they themselves observe the strictest propriety of conduct, but by precept and example they should educate others to be modest and shun looseness, jesting, flattery, and nonsensical speeches. Everything savoring of unbecoming familiarity should be discarded by physicians, superintendent, and helpers. There should be no giving of special favors or special attentions to a few, no preferring of one above another. This has been done and is displeasing to God. There are worthy persons who are afflicted and suffering but do not complain, who are in need of special attention. These men and women are often passed by with indifference and with a hardness of heart that is more like Satan’s character than like Christ’s, while, young forward misses, who in no way need or deserve favors, receive special attention. All this neglect is written in the books of heaven. All these things are developing character.... { SpTB16 9.2 }

A woman who will allow an unchaste word or hint to be uttered in her presence, is not as God would have her; one that will permit any undue familiarity or impure suggestion does not preserve her God-like womanhood. { PH167 38.1 }

A physician should attend strictly to his professional work. He should not allow anything to come in to divert his mind from his business, or to take his attention from those who are looking to him for relief from suffering. An assuring and hopeful word spoken in season to the sufferer will often relieve his mind and win for the physician a place in his confidence. Kindness and courtesy should be manifested; but the common, cheap talk which is so customary even among some who claim to be Christians, should not be heard in our institutions. The only way for us to become truly courteous, without affectation, without undue familiarity, is to drink in the spirit of Christ, to heed the injunction, “Be ye holy; for I am holy.” If we act upon the principles laid down in the word of God, we shall have no inclination to indulge in undue familiarity. { PH066 38.1 }

I have been urged by the Spirit of the Lord to fully warn our people in regard to the undue familiarity of married men with women, and women with men. This lovesick sentimentalism existed in the mission at Cleveland before you were connected with it. I was shown you with others manifesting the same; whether this was in the past or the future I cannot say, for often things are presented to me long before the circumstances take place.—Letter 17, 1891. (To Brother Irwin, July 20, 1891.) { 4MR 63.3 }

Christ carried out in His life His own divine teachings. His zeal never led Him to become passionate. He manifested consistency without obstinacy, benevolence without weakness, tenderness and sympathy without sentimentalism. He was highly social, yet He possessed a reserved dignity that did not encourage undue familiarity. His temperance never led to bigotry or austerity. He was not conformed to this world, yet He was not indifferent to the wants of the least among men. He was awake to the needs of all. { 18MR 115.2 }

A woman who will allow an unchaste word or hint to be uttered in her presence is not as God would have her; one that will permit any undue familiarity or impure suggestion does not preserve her God-like womanhood. Some may think these warnings unnecessary; but God has shown me that they are necessary in every mission, in every college, in every institution that we have established. { 18MR 299.2 }

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Undue familiarity (32)

u n d u e F A M I L I A R I T Y ( 2 RELATED PHRASES )

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